The $35 Boudoir Shoot


Recently my friend and amazing photographer, Ryan Flynn, took these boudoir pictures of me sort of looking a little dead, but still pretty sexy! She described the shoot as a “high-fashion, gothic look,” so I was totally down to play when she asked me to be her model (you just have to let the genius work sometimes).

She asked me to go to the store and supply her with:

An inflatable pool, gold spray paint, fake eyelashes, and a crap ton of makeup.

I gathered the supplies and got to the checkout counter, where the total amounted to about $35. Not too bad, huh?

The bra-let was $35 from Urban Outfitters and the bottoms were on sale for $2. AWESOME.

When I got home, I spray painted the pool and knew that Ryan would be freak-a-leeking, when she saw how great it turned out. I carried pales of water back and forth through the house, and then got tired and quit. I hoped it would be enough for her. Always aiming to please. My arms hurt from inflating the pool with a bike pump, but at least they might look toned for the shoot. They still looked like noodles the next day.

I woke up at the butt-crack of dawn due to the excitement that I was feeling about being model for the first time. I waited all day in my skimpy outfit for Ryan to come over and do my makeup.

Eventually, she made her way to my house at around one, carrying loads of equipment. She sat down, staring at me like Michelangelo stared at the blank ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. “Let us begin,” she creepily murmured. The whole time she was doing my makeup, she seemed to be in some other world. She would giggle, then pause, then evil giggle, then pause, then frown, then wipe a smudge from my face, and then giggle. I couldn’t really tell if she was happy or sad, but I knew that she was a creative genius, so I didn’t ask questions.

“Done. You can look in the mirror.” I looked in the mirror in astonishment. I looked like a beautiful…drag queen! I had so much makeup on, it was shocking to even look in the mirror. “Don’t worry, just trust me. It’ll photograph awesome!”

Ryan and I got to work immediately. She pretty much directed me to do everything. I started closing my eyes because the sun was blinding me. “JUST KEEP DOING THAT!” She took several photos and then looked back on a few in the shade. “URGHHHH!!!!” she grunted in delight, “these are SO GOOD!”

We stayed in the pool for awhile and then moved to my staircase outside. To my despair, my nightmare came true. The whole time I had feared that my neighbors would come home and see me and think I was a giant weirdo. They did and they did. The hipster couple pulled up and sort of stared at me and her for awhile, awkwardly pausing, and then looking at each other. They sort of smiled and headed inside. I was mortified, but we carried on a bit longer. “Great,” I thought. Now my neighbors knew what I pretty much looked like in my underwear.

We got back inside the house and looked at a few. I was shocked at how well they turned out! We could barely pick which ones we wanted her to edit. Here is the rest of them!






For photography inquiries, email Ryan at


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