1. You are tired of feeling disappointed all of the time.
Not some of the time. All of the time. Tired of feeling a sense of disappointment from picking the wrong man to be in your life? Know that you are completely responsible for it? This isn’t an info-merical. This is real life. You are not only disappointed in him, you are also disappointed in yourself. There’s only one way to fix that, because you certainly aren’t going to fix him. Here’s a secret: let it go and give yourself the opportunity to be with someone who actually cares about you beyond your vagina.
2. You are smart enough to know exactly what is happening, but you still stay around.
You are under his power. The problem resides in the fact that you are giving him this power. If you stop seeing him, then guess who doesn’t have control over you anymore? You aren’t willing to do this though because you are afraid that he will forget about you. You know exactly what you are doing, but you don’t want to admit to anyone why you are doing it. You will call and tell your friends how much you hate what is going on, but you never seem to change. If he shows you the smallest sign of attention, you are back at it again. He is playing you like a damn fiddle. You are not a stringed instrument. Stop.
3. If he wears leather, has emotional issues, is in a band, or is an egotistical asshole, you are all in.
Feel free to customize the list, but these are the most prevalent reoccurring themes. Some bad boys appear to be super nice guys. I know the binaries of bad boys and nice guys are really much more complex, but generally speaking, it isn’t difficult to tell whether or not a man has terrible intentions with you.
4. You wonder why you just can’t find a really nice guy.
Answer: because you aren’t into someone who actually treats you like a normal person. You are a bit of a sadist when it comes to relationships. You like the drama that comes with a bad boy. Nice guys are bland and seem like they only want to get to know you. You hate the small talk and boring conversations. You want thrill, excitement, the highs and lows. You want someone who takes you on motorcycle rides. Nice guys only give you a stable medium.
5. You know that this isn’t the type of person you want to date, but you want to date them any way because it is almost like a challenge.
The people’s core personalities never change. I really believe that. Things about you might change, but if you are an asshole through and through, that won’t change. Don’t date guys who you know are douches. They won’t change for you. The are completely selfish and unaware of your feelings.
6. You go on dates with a plethora of men, but nothing changes. You still want the guy who is a dick to you.
You can try and try to date men who are vying for your attention, but you want the one who isn’t. It seems to mean something more when he does give you a call. What it really means is that you were on his list of girls to call for the night and you just happened to be the one that picked up. You were the one who wasn’t sick of putting up with his shit. You make up excuses for him, you try to make his actions seem logical. You tell yourself a lie that you really start to believe. It’s kinda sad. Actually, no, it is really sad.
7. You are smart enough to know that you are stupid.
As my best friend and I discussed her love for bad boys, she said: “There are two plots of land and I’m looking at both of them. One area is the most beautiful meadow, filled with all these different amazing flowers. There are so many to pick and all I have to do is decide which one I want. Then there is another area of land located in an industrial park. There are five “flowers,” which are more like weeds, sitting right beside a manufacturing plant. The flowers are dying and ugly. I begin to run as fast as I can to this meadow, literally pushing people over to get to these flowers so that I can save them and make them beautiful. I completely ignore the beautiful meadow, because… who cares? That meadow doesn’t have issues and this one needs more attention.” If this situation seems familiar then you know what I’m talking about.
8. You come to the realization that you like bad boys because there is something wrong with you.
The problem lies within yourself, whether it is a lack of respect for yourself or the belief that you aren’t good enough for a guy who treats you right. You are also a bit impatient and unwilling to wait to find that person. Bad boys are a temporary fix. They aren’t deep, they aren’t complex. They just want you for their own selfish purposes. Either to hook up with you or to make sure that no one else has you because you are their territory. Do yourself a favor and let the bad boy go. There are men out there who will not make you feel like shit as soon as you leave. You won’t feel a sense of impending dread with them. You will be able to tell that this person really does care about you because he shows you. Be patient and wait for this person. It might seem idealistic, but it is true. Stop abusing yourself with bad boys or men that even try to attempt to play this role. You aren’t going to be the one who changes him. People only change if they want to and you being under his command isn’t going to cause him to change.