10 Signs You’re a Space Cadet

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  1. You always catch yourself saying, “What? Can you repeat that again?”

As your friend is telling a story, you start looking at her eyebrows. I mean, really looking at them. You notice how they move when she says the words, “and then.” You begin to drift off into space and wonder what your eyebrows look like and if they jump across your face when you say certain words. Your eyes begin to glaze over and suddenly you are in a zombie-like trance, contemplating why humans even have eyebrows. Are they just for looks or do they actually serve a purpose beyond being aesthetically pleasing? Oh no, your mind just wondered into unchartered territory. You think about that time you googled “Anne Hathaway with no eyebrows.” You kept up most of the conversation by responding, “Uh-huh,” “Yep, I know! “Totally, been there done that,” “You tell him!” You aren’t really listening though, because you are too busy staring into the souls of her eyebrows. You’ve become a pro at keeping up conversations like these. Your friend notices the smirk that has suddenly appeared on your face during her super serious story about why she did not text the guy she was talking to back. She catches you drifting away to a place she does not know and you have to ask her to repeat the last thing that was said.

  1. You lay in bed and just think for hours.

It is hard for you to sleep at night because you are processing. This is a relaxing exercise for your mind. You check the clock on your phone and it reads 4:40 AM. “Shit, I’ve got to wake up in 4 hours,” you mutter to yourself. You fall asleep wondering how many seconds are in four hours.

  1. Your friends ask you on the regular if everything is okay.

You will be hanging out with someone and then they will catch the blank look on your face. You normally do this until you hear your signal to come back down to Earth, which is “Are you okay?” People think you are upset about something, but really you’re just thinking about life in general. I do this for about a solid hour a day. I will just take my hour and normally go sit outside and just think about things.

  1. You can only concentrate on one thing at a time.

You don’t mind spanning several different topics during a conversation, but if the person you are talking to is throwing things left and right at you, you aren’t going to catch all them because you want to actually think about what you are saying. A particular subject might spark your deepest interest and you’d rather the conversation linger on that topic. Spacey people generally like to listen to other people’s ideas about things they often think about. We are good listeners and we like to converse over complex subjects, not just initiate and give into boring small talk.

  1. You give what you feel like are very thoughtful responses, but leave people saying, “WTF??”

And then you open your mouth and give your answer that provides a long historical explanation on why the South lost the Civil War. The person you were talking to had said something about losing a grey jacket, so you naturally start thinking about Confederate soldiers and before you know it, you’ve paralleled the Civil War and the loss of their jacket.

  1. You wonder if your entire life has just been a dream.
    Sometimes you have this weird moment of self-realization. You start freaking yourself out really badly. You exist. You are a real person and you are living your life. All these fuzzy memories are not a dream, but actual lived experiences, or are they? Are you just dreaming? Holy shit.

  2. You read into things way too much.

Remember that weird signal that guy at the restaurant gave you? Was he being way too friendly or way too mean? You think about this throughout your meal and it starts to bother you. You almost want to go up and ask him what was going on. And just forget reading texts. They are basically hieroglyphics that you must take apart and analyze word for word in order to find the true mean. You are essentially Nicolas Cage in a National Treasure movie when it comes to texting.

  1. You have to have “alone days.”

You have your days where you just need to be alone. Days like this are for you and your weirdo thoughts and you find comfort in knowing you won’t be interrupted. You’re torn between being an introvert and an extrovert. You don’t know what the hell you are. You can’t really put a label on it. It depends on your mood. But certain days are just for you.

  1. Time and space, man.

You don’t get it and aren’t going to pretend like you do. But sometimes you like to venture into this territory. This conversation is particularly stimulating and must only be held between two spacey people. I love looking at the stars and wondering what all is out there. I’m fascinated by anything space related. One of my favorite questions to ask people is if they believe in aliens. It’s so interesting to think about stuff like that. Unfortunately God and a poor southern school system caused my ability in math to be absurdly horrible. Otherwise, I would have totally been an astronaut.

  1. Nature is your favorite.

You love to be outside. You love to look around and just admire nature. As weird as that sounds, you could get lost in it. Literally or figuratively. I grew up in the country and I was forced to play outside as a child. The “stay outside until it gets dark” kind of lifestyle. This is something that stayed with me into adulthood. My best friend and I would go exploring all day long. We used to make up stories about old cans and bottles that we found in the woods. We swore up and down that Laura Ingalls Wilder traveled through our neighborhood and parked her covered wagon right down the street. I love to be outside, I love nature, nothing makes me happier or inspires me to get creative (DHMIS reference). And no, I don’t smoke weed (not that I think it is bad to, I just don’t). I’m just weird, spacey, and lost in my thoughts.

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